a better place to be or, she, part i

i lie in bed making snow angels
her sheets are white
like a frozen tundra

like a bridal gown
the assumption of purity
she loved the absurdity

im sprawled out
my left arm and leg hanging off the side

i woke up on the wrong side of this bed
the wrong side of the tracks with
the wrong girl

falling asleep and waking up
feeling trapped in some place
less exciting than
it was the night before

some nights i wish i had just stayed home
stayed up late
writing about girls
rather than putting up with them

she woke before i got up
i had been watching her
thinking of whirlpools
and tornados
but it’s my life
spiraling down

who is she
i wrote her name on my hand so
i wouldnt forget
but who is she

you can leave now she said
trying to salvage small self-respect

thanks for your permission i said
already headed toward the door

are you coming back she said

something’s got to give